What I choose to share

A dear friend recently posted about how we often share only the good stuff on social media: smiling pictures with friends and family, trips, celebrations. It’s easy to scroll through and think everyone else is living perfect lives, with perfect lighting, carefree moments, and zero stress. But what about the in-between? The feelings of grief, helplessness, loneliness, or deep disappointments? Those moments rarely make it to our feeds, even though they’re where the real growth happens. And let’s be honest growth isn’t always pretty. Remember middle school? Yeah, not cute.

When I saw her post, I commented that I share the good stuff to remind myself that things are good. To reflect on the fact that I’ve come through disappointments, anger, and frustration without looking like what I’ve been through. To show that even when life is "lifing," it won’t keep me down.

It’s true that 2024 brought some hard truths to light for me. I tried reading Isabelle Wilkerson's Caste, but I couldn’t make it through. Instead, I watched the movie Origin and cried so uncontrollably that a stranger sitting next to me had to console me. The weight of humanity’s disappointments hit hard. And that same feeling returned on November 5th, when 77,297,721 people cast their votes for ideologies embedded in "making America great again." This time, I didn’t need consoling. I had no more tears left for a country that really just doesn’t seem to give a fuck. The shame of being hopeful and then let down wasn’t something I wanted to share on social media. There’s no filter for that kind of letdown. The in-between isn’t just not cute, often it's brutal.

But here’s the thing: I always make it to the other side. That’s what I choose to post. Because honestly, what matters more than celebrating good food, good friends, and good times? Just know that between those posts, there was some shit. Some of it was good, some of it wasn’t. Either way, I’m still here. And that’s worth sharing.

P.S. By the way and to further my point the picture below of the lavender honey and fig macarons is cropped because I was in between manicures. There’s no such thing as perfection. It’s all an illusion.

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