Reframing My Journey: The Tools I Use to Create a Better Life

For a long time, I lived with stories about myself that weren’t true. They were stories born out of experiences where I was hurt, rejected, or felt unworthy. Like many of us, I held onto those moments, replaying them in my mind, unknowingly creating patterns of thought that became my reality. It’s only when I started intentionally reframing those stories that I began to truly live.

I’ve learned something along the way: our thoughts, words, and actions create our reality. At least, that’s what I believe. And if that’s true, then I have a responsibility to myself to be intentional about how I use them. This realization didn’t come all at once, and I’m certainly no expert. I’m just someone trying to navigate life in a way that feels healthier, lighter, and more joyful.

Just recently, I had an experience that reminded me how much we carry these old stories with us. No matter how much we grow, how much we work on ourselves, or how committed we are to living differently, those stories still pop up. For 2025, I made a promise to myself: I would prioritize travel and intentionally create moments of joy. It was a bold declaration, and I was excited about it. As I was planning an upcoming trip, imagining myself on a beach with the sun warming my skin and the sound of waves surrounding me, something unexpected happened.

Cancun 2020

Before I could fully embrace the vision of this joyful moment, a negative thought crept in: “What will I look like in a bathing suit?” That single thought was enough to take me out of the moment and make me question the entire experience. It was a subtle but powerful reminder of an old story I’ve carried, one that whispered I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t belong in spaces of joy and freedom.

But here’s the thing I caught it. I recognized it as a racket designed to keep me stuck. Instead of following that voice, I made a conscious choice to refocus on the joy I was creating. I imagined the warmth of the sand, the beauty of the ocean, the laughter I would share. That simple pivot reminded me that I have the power to create my reality, one thought at a time.

This moment didn’t just inspire me to keep moving forward with my plans; it reminded me why this journey of reframing and growth matters. No matter how much we work to elevate ourselves, the old stories will try to resurface. But how we respond to them can make all the difference.

We all carry stories about who we are, often rooted in moments of real, deep hurt. These aren’t small slights or passing frustrations; they’re the kinds of events that change the trajectory of our lives. A betrayal, a loss, or a trauma shape us in profound ways. It’s important to acknowledge the validity of these experiences. They happened, and they mattered. But the way we choose to think about them and the meaning we assign to them determines the trajectory we allow ourselves to take. If we continue to see these moments as proof that we are broken or unworthy, we risk staying stuck in that story.

And this is where the idea of rackets comes in. Rackets are the patterns we create to validate our negative beliefs. They’re the ways we unconsciously reinforce the idea that we’re not good enough. Every time we tell ourselves, “See, I knew this would happen” or “This always happens to me,” we’re building the case for that old story. But here’s the truth as I see it...we can rewrite those stories. It’s not about pretending the hurt didn’t happen, but choosing how we move forward.

Over time, I’ve gathered tools that help me navigate these moments and remind me of the choices I have. Each tool has a story behind it, and maybe one day I’ll share those stories because they’re really good ones. How I came to acquire these tools is as much a part of my journey as using them. They’ve worked for me, and maybe some of them might work for you, too.

• Books like A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle taught me about the pain body, a part of us that holds onto old wounds.

• The Serenity Prayer gave me the courage to focus on what I can control like my thoughts and actions, and let go of the rest.

• 12-Step Programs taught me how to reframe negative thinking and break patterns that no longer serve me. (There is a story of how I found myself at NA meetings following behind a man who was an addict. But that’s another story for another day.) Hi, I’m Jeannine, and I’m addicted to negative thinking that doesn’t serve me. Honestly, that’s exactly how I would go to meetings and sit at tables. I didn’t have a drug addiction or an alcohol addiction, but the damage I had done to myself was just as powerful. Recognizing that addiction to negative patterns was a pivotal moment for me.

• Landmark Forum showed me how to use my words to declare and create new realities. It also helped me uncover the rackets that kept me stuck in old stories.

• Therapy gave me the tools to understand and release the ways I’d been revictimized by holding onto old pain.

• Meditation has become a daily practice, a way to connect with my higher self and recharge my energy.

• The Rest Deck reminds me to use moments of rest to focus on positivity and reframe negative thoughts.

• Vibrate Higher Daily by Lalah Delia has taught me how to align my energy with positivity and surround myself with people who elevate my vibration.

  
  

Each tool came into my life when I needed it most, and they’ve stayed with me as reminders of what’s possible. Maybe sharing the stories behind them will be part of my journey too. This isn’t about expertise or having all the answers. It’s about figuring out what works for me and being open to the idea that it might work for someone else too. Every day, I have a choice to create something better. It’s not always easy because those old stories and rackets still try to creep in. I’m learning to catch them, stop them in their tracks, and replace them with thoughts that lift me up.

So, what about you? What stories are you telling yourself? What rackets have you built to keep those stories alive? What tools can you use to break free and create the life you want?

This is my journey, but it’s also an invitation. If we all have the power to create, then why not create a better existence for ourselves and those around us? It starts with a single step, a single tool, a single decision to tell a new story.

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