Talking to Strangers

This blog was inspired by a birthday reflection I shared a few years ago. Cheers to the lessons we learn along the way!

On my 54th birthday, I wrote a list of ten things I knew for sure and shared it on Facebook. It was my way of reflecting on the lessons I’d learned and the truths that had shaped me. Here’s what I wrote:

Today’s my birthday! Here are 10 things I know...

1. Invest in good support, which might include Spanx, a trainer, a therapist, a spiritual guide, friends who tell you the truth, and other provisions.

2. You create with your word, literally. Speak your reality into being.

3. Spend time with people who value your presence and who give you energy through their presence. Know your self-worth.

4. Vibrate at a higher level, always.

5. Reconsider how you define moments in your life so you can more clearly see the pathway to your authentic self.

6. Don't struggle with a closed door, because the universe has several more open.

7. There is a rhythm and freedom for everyone in House music.

8. Forgive yourself, forgive others. (But if you keep f****** with me, number 4 is out the door.)

9. If you keep waking up at 3 a.m., journal without thinking. The message will come. (Seriously.)

10. Talk to strangers.

I still stand by all ten of these truths, but as I reflect on them a few years later it’s number 10, "Talk to strangers", that has taken on a deeper meaning. At first, I thought it was universal advice. Something anyone could do. But I realize that it isn’t for everyone, especially since many of us grew up hearing, “Stranger, danger.” And yes, we should always use discernment and keep ourselves safe.

For me, though, I’ve always said, “I know no strangers.” Sometimes it feels as though there’s something waiting to be shared between me and the person I’m talking to. And somehow, I end up being the one they choose to share it with.

I’ve never been great at chit chat or polite cocktail conversations. Small talk has never been my thing. Although, I will admit, I do love showing people pictures of my grandchildren. They’re so cute, I can’t help myself. But beyond that, I’ve always been drawn to deeper conversations, the kind that just seem to happen without planning.

I remember one conversation in particular. I was speaking to a woman about her job. The conversation started casually enough, but I could sense there was something more beneath her words. So I asked her, “What would give you joy?”

She paused, clearly surprised, and admitted she wasn’t sure. She thought it had something to do with helping people. We talked for a little while, and I encouraged her to lean into that feeling. I told her there was something deeper there and that she should let herself explore what it meant. At one point, I even said, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but I feel like I’m supposed to.”

A couple of years later, this same woman approached me. At first, I didn’t recognize her, but she said, “Do you remember me? You talked to me about finding joy.” It all came flooding back.

She told me that after our conversation, she left her corporate job and started working at a homeless shelter for women and children. Not only that, she started her own organization to empower women. I was so excited. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. What felt like a simple conversation had been a turning point for her.

That moment made me reflect on the power of connection. Not just surface-level connection, but the kind that reaches into someone’s heart and reminds them of who they are.

What I’ve come to realize is that connecting like this feels natural to me, even if I don’t fully understand it. I listen deeply. Not just to what people say, but to what they don’t say. And sometimes, the right words come to me, and they land in a way that feels bigger than me. It often feels like being a messenger. Not my message, necessarily, but something they needed to hear.

It’s not something I control or try to do. It just happens. Maybe it’s empathy. Maybe it’s intuition. Maybe it’s both. I’ve learned to trust it, even when it feels a bit invasive.

What I do know is that these moments stay with me. They remind me of how deeply we’re all connected. They show me the beauty in holding space for someone else to feel seen. And when someone lets me into their story, it feels like a privilege. It gives me energy. These conversations don’t drain me. They fill me up and remind me of the beauty of human connection.

Talking to strangers isn’t always about big, life-changing moments. Sometimes, it’s a kind word or a thoughtful question. But every now and then, it’s a moment that plants a seed. And sometimes, it’s just being there when someone needs to feel heard.

So yes, “talk to strangers” is still on my list. Not because I have all the answers or because I think everyone should do it. It’s because those moments remind me of what it means to be human. They remind me to connect and to trust that even a simple conversation can hold so much more than we realize.

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