Serenity, Courage and Wisdom

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

I know that the word "God" can mean different things to different people, and I don’t want anyone to feel distanced by it. For me, it’s about whatever power greater than yourself that you believe in. Maybe it’s the universe, love, nature, or simply the collective energy of humanity. Whatever it is for you, this prayer is about tapping into something beyond yourself to find peace, strength, and clarity.

Serenity, courage, and wisdom are deeply connected in ways I am still learning to understand. None of these come easily. They require intentional effort, honest reflection, and a willingness to step into spaces that challenge and stretch us.

On Serenity

Serenity is not about avoiding challenges or pretending that life is perfect. It is about finding calm and grace in the midst of life’s inevitable storms. For me, serenity comes when I accept that some things, whether they are people, places, or circumstances, are beyond my control, no matter how much I want to fix them. This kind of acceptance is not easy, but it has a way of bringing freedom.

There is also a deeper truth I hold onto. I believe there is a power greater than myself that can handle the things I cannot. When I trust in that power, I feel a sense of peace that I could never create on my own. It is not about giving up. It is about recognizing my limits and trusting that there is something greater at work.

Finding serenity takes practice. I have to remind myself regularly that not every battle is mine to fight. My mother often says, “The battle is not yours; it’s the Lord’s.” And I'll reply, “God is good,” and she will say, “All the time.” That exchange is a constant reminder for me to let go of what is too big for me to handle and trust that I am not in this alone. When I step back from trying to control everything, I begin to see what is possible.

On Powerlessness

Powerlessness is something I have struggled with many times. It can show up in moments of self-doubt, when I question whether I am good enough or capable enough. At its worst, it feels like sitting at a table in my own mind, surrounded by a committee of doubt. They are all there, and they have a lot to say—Imposter Syndrome, Insecurity, and Fear.

The Serenity Prayer calls us to accept the things we cannot change, and in doing so, it asks us to confront our limitations. That acknowledgment of powerlessness can feel overwhelming. For many of us, it triggers feelings of inadequacy or failure. But in truth, it is the first step toward finding serenity. Accepting that we cannot control everything frees us to focus on the things we can change.

There are external factors—people, circumstances, and events—that I have no power over. These are things I cannot control, and I have to accept them, as hard as that may be. However, what happens internally is mine to shape. My thoughts, my reactions, and the way I choose to respond to life are within my control.

When I decided to reclaim my voice at that mental table, everything began to shift. I realized I could challenge the doubts and insecurities instead of letting them dominate the conversation. My authentic self could take the lead, and with that, I started to find my power again.

For years, my internal committee of doubt tried to convince me that I was not enough. They whispered that my successes were luck. They told me that if people really knew me, they would see I did not belong. These voices drowned out my authentic self and left me feeling stuck, small, and powerless.

What I have learned, though, is that powerlessness is not permanent. It is a story we tell ourselves, and it is a story we can rewrite. I am not powerless because I own my life. I own my thoughts, my reactions, and how I choose to show up.

I think back to a conversation with my daughter after we watched Wicked. We sat together long after the credits had rolled, unpacking the story and its themes. The discussion spilled over into the car ride home, where we continued to analyze and reflect. At one point, she said, “Mom, you can’t save humanity. You need to focus on yourself.” That moment stayed with me. It was her way of saying, "Know the difference, and act where you have the power."

On Courage

Courage is not about being fearless. It is about stepping into vulnerability and showing up even when fear and uncertainty are present. It is about making choices that are different, especially when old patterns try to pull you back.

Years ago, I attended NA meetings, though I was not addicted to drugs or alcohol. Looking back, I know it was at the behest of a power greater than myself. At times, I felt a little out of place, even slightly dishonest, sitting at those tables. But while I was not battling substance addiction, I was deeply stuck in patterns of cyclical thinking. My mind would loop endlessly through self-doubt, overthinking, and insecurity, and I couldn’t break free on my own.

So there I was, at the tables of NA, not just listening but sharing. For years, I laid down my truths in those rooms. I spoke about my struggles, my fears, and the ways my own thinking kept me trapped. And I was not alone. Everyone there laid down their truths too. Those rooms became a place where we came together to shed the weight of our burdens and to gather the armor we needed to face the battles in our lives.

Those meetings were raw and honest. People shared their hardest struggles and their deepest fears, but they also shared their hopes. We listened to one another, supported one another, and learned what it meant to keep moving forward. At the end of each meeting, someone would lead us in a moment of silence for the still-suffering addict, followed by the Serenity Prayer.

Those meetings taught me so much about courage. It took courage for everyone in that room, myself included, to show up, speak honestly, and face what was broken. It took courage to believe that change was possible, even when it felt impossible. And it took courage to keep coming back, week after week, knowing the work of healing and growth is never easy.

For me, courage often looks like acting in the face of fear, even when I feel uncertain. It is about leaning into discomfort, choosing to speak my truth, and trusting that something greater than myself is guiding the process. Those rooms, and the people in them, taught me that courage is not about perfection. It is about showing up as you are, sharing what you have, and being willing to let change happen.

On Wisdom

Wisdom is something we earn through experience. Ryan Dunlap once said, “The wisdom you possess now didn’t exist then because it was forged in your missteps and struggles.” That speaks to me. You can find Ryan on Instagram and TikTok at @conflictish.

I have learned to trust the wisdom I have gained, even when it tells me things I do not want to hear. It reminds me that I cannot fix everything or save everyone, but I can act on what I know to be true for myself. Wisdom leads us to choices that align with who we are and who we are becoming.

In Practice

Living with serenity, courage, and wisdom is not a destination but a daily practice. It is about the choices we make each day. It is about letting go of what we cannot control, stepping into vulnerability with courage, and trusting the lessons we have learned.

Every now and then, I still say the Serenity Prayer. It reminds me of what is possible: peace in the face of chaos, bravery in the face of fear, and clarity in the face of confusion.

What about you? What are you learning to accept? Where are you finding courage? And how is wisdom shaping the choices you make today?

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